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SPECIAL FEATURE • TAKE MY COMPUTER PLEASE

by Steve Ciarcia

Retro-Humor, Ciarcia Style — Part 3

Market Madness

It wasn't until three months later that Ralph decided he was ready for his next venture. It was apparently getting a little hot for him at the Fronton. He and Anne had won pretty heavily a few times and the Fronton officials had him pegged as a systems bettor. I've heard strange tales about bouncers and unsavory methods used to dissuade certain people from entering Las Vegas casinos but could this happen in Connecticut? I'm really not sure. Whenever I mentioned it to Ralph, he would immediately grab my arm, pull me into the nearest vacant office and motion with his forefinger against his lips that I should say nothing. The mere mention of jai-Alai would cause him to break out in a cold sweat. I had sadistic thoughts of talking Ralph into taking me to the Fronton again sometime on the pretext of entertainment and relaxation. At just the opportune moment, when there was a lull in the crowd, I intended to stand up next to Ralph, slap him on the back, and say in a loud voice, "Ralph, that system you have for cheating is fantastic. I would never have thought of sneaking all that communications gear inside. How much did you say the payoff to that player was last night?" Just as Ralph would go for my throat, a combination of the crowd and Fronton officials would go for him. The former because they wanted to know how to do the same and the latter because Ralph constituted a cut in their profit margin. But unexciting sanity prevailed. I would never do such a thing. To this point I had only been severely inconvenienced by Ralph's schemes. Three months without Ralph and his S.W.A.T. team had done wonders for my computer system...

Click here to read or download the rest of chapter two in PDF format

Click here to read the first installment of this series

Click here to read the second installment of this series

June 2001