Engineer = Pyromaniac Part 2: Backyard Engineering
by Darren Ashby

My last article probing the hidden heart of engineers everywhere to burn, combust or simply explode the world around them was well-received. As a matter of fact, it sparked (minor pun intended) a flurry of emails regarding the cool stuff you can do with the oxidation of matter.

You can’t beat the Internet as a storage solution for every idea ever had by man, but you can’t really find what you are looking for that easily either, especially if you don’t know what to look for. Take a look at some of this stuff dug up by our readers proving my theory. Thanks for all your input; it was definitely fun reading for a pyro like myself!

Pocket Change

Can you buy anything worth anything with the coins in your pocket any more? If those "everything is under a buck" stores are any proof, I sincerely doubt it. Well if this hard cash isn’t worth much, maybe it shouldn’t take up as much room in your pocket as it does now. The solution, shrink that quarter to the size of a dime!

The basic idea is to charge up a bank of REALLY BIG capacitors, wrap a coil wire around Washington’s head, close the circuit, and voila! You have a dime with our first president’s profile on it. Now I know what you're thinking. How is this pyromania? What do you get out of capacitors and wire besides current? Well I’ll tell you, you get current, but in this case it is an incredibly tremendous amount of current. Over 1 million amps are induced in the quarter. That’s right I said induced, the di/dt through the coil itself is simply immense. Still don’t believe this qualifies as pyromania? Take a look at this photo and follow this link.

You can argue with me if you like, but I say that any device that creates a white hot ball of exploding plasma was designed by someone with the heart of a pyromaniac. To sum it up in the words of Travis who sent me this link, "Nifty-keen!"

Now That’s a Fire!!!

Reader Doug sent in this flamboyant (sorry I couldn’t help myself) display of impatience. George apparently grows tired of waiting for his charcoal to get going so he can grill himself some animal flesh. I can understand his problem, I use a propane torch myself to get the coals aroasting. It is a simple solution really, burning requires oxygen, ergo more oxygen, more burn. I don’t have ready access to liquid oxygen so I have never tried this, and even I, an avowed fan of flame wouldn’t recommend it. It is a sure way to score a Darwin award. One important item of note; George is an electrical engineer, I think that definitely supports the theory in question. If you must see more, including some great footage that I swear I saw on TV a while back, click here.

Asok Delivers

The last couple of cool things that were sent in originated close by, from an USE ME student, currently an intern the machine shop where I work. To protect his name from ill repute and because I think it is funny, we will call him Asok. The first thing Asok told me about was brand new to me, so we had to try it. The second almost brought a tear to my eye as I reminisced fondly of a time gone by when there was just me, a potato, a pipe and some hair-spray I stole from my sister...

Excuse Me, Do You Have a Book of Rockets?

Who'da thunk it? Not me, that’s for sure. I tend to think a little bigger, but no doubt about it, we just had to try it out. It turns out that the burst of flame you get when you strike a match has thrust potential, it just needs a little persuasive direction (not unlike my 5 year old J ). The basic idea is to wrap the head of the match in tin foil with a pin inserted to create a nozzle. Heat the foil until the match lights and whoosh there it goes.

Well, not exactly. Asok and I experimented a little before we got it off the ground. One thing that doesn’t work are wooden matches. Not a good thrust-to-weight ratio. Luckily, my father happened by on his way home from Vegas, a town you can’t leave without a couple of paper match books. After we begged some off of him we set to work. Be patient, it can take some time to get the hang of wrapping the foil and forming the nozzle. It took a few tries, but after a while, Asok was rewarded with a puff of blue smoke and a match flying 12 feet, just like the web site said. (Don’t forget to check out the chief matchstick rocket scientist’s bio. I think the picture proves this guy is clearly an engineer.) All in all, it was a fun way to kill a couple of hours in the afternoon. Replay value might be a little weak though, but if I could just figure out how to make a two stage version...

Ballistic Tubers

To quote Dictionary.com, tuber means:

1. A swollen, fleshy, usually underground stem of a plant, such as the potato, bearing buds from which new plant shoots arise.

Potatoes are versatile vegetable. Great mashed with gravy, or my favorite, scalloped in a Dutch oven, they can even generate electricity when handled right. But I must confess the most exciting use I have ever seen is as a projectile in a piece of PVC artillery. Also know as the potato gun, tater-zooka and spud launcher, this piece of equipment can be put together from parts at a hardware store for just a few bucks. Many moons ago I built one of these and had a blast! Do you know that a 2-inch diameter potato will literally cause a 5 gallon bucket to explode at about 20 yards? And the first time you see an Idaho spud fly over 200 yards, oooohhh what a rush. I won’t list a web site for this one 'cuz a short trip to your favorite search engine will bring up more than you imagine. There are whole organizations out there dedicated to improving the capabilities of the tater-zooka. I just never thought to look till Asok hooked me up. I tagged a picture of the coolest tuber-blaster I could find, a Gattling potato gun. Now that’s serious potato power!

Engineer = Pyromaniac

I think the case is closed on this one, my extensive research clearly proves that at the heart of every engineer lies a pyro just waiting to get out. In fact, one reader by the name of John wrote in who actually has the job I dreamed of so long ago. I quote his reply to me:

... I must admit to being a bit of a pyromaniac myself. Being paid to blow things up in the name of 'research' is fantastic. One of the great things about being an engineer is loving your work.

Cheers John, I love my work too.

Disclaimer:

For those people out there that would try something like this without taking proper safety measures, get hurt and then basically try to blame someone else for their own stupidity. Do not try this at home! Don’t try it anywhere. I don’t care how hot the cup of coffee was, you elected to put it on your lap while driving around, spilling it and causing the accident! If you think I have a beef for the way the legal system is driving out personal responsibility in our society, you are right. I think it all started with the science of psychiatry, but that is another story for another time.

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